If I were being chased by a guy with a knife...

You've heard this expression.  If you are a runner talking to a non-runner, casually mentioning how many miles you ran today, the non-runner chimes in and says, "I couldn't run that far if I were being chased by a guy with a knife!".  Similarly, if you are a non-runner trying to flatter or otherwise appear less immortal than the runner, you respond to the runner's mileage tally with, "I couldn't run that far if I were being chased by a guy with a knife!".  It is the most overused and least logical expression ever shared between the worlds of runners and non-runners.  No wonder we don't understand each other!  


Why is it always a knife?  And a guy?  Why not a bear?  Or a guy with a tarantula? Or a bear with a tarantula?


Here's the scenario. I ran 9 miles.  Someone "couldn't run 9 miles if they were being chased by a guy with a knife".  Why would a guy run after you for 9 miles with a knife?  What the hell did you do to this guy that he felt compelled to run 9 miles to stab you?  Where are you that there isn't anyone to call or anywhere to hide from this 9-mile-knife-wielding houligan?


Okay so let's just go along with the scenario.  So there I was, mugging someone, and the victim turned on me with a knife and... No, that's not realistic.  So there I was, kicking someone's puppy, and... No, wouldn't happen.  So there I was, insulting someone for having obnoxious, ill-mannered children...yeahhhh that's more like it... and the parent of the ill-mannered child comes at me with a knife.  In a fit of rage the parent, let's call it a father, abandons the child and a pursuit ensues.  (I think we now understand why the child is so obnoxious, and that my insulting tirade was completely justified).  In my fantasy I'm going to pretend that I happened to be wearing running clothes.  I spin and take flight, and in a burst of adrenaline I take off at a fast clip, but I hear this maniac behind me and he's too close for comfort.  My speed increases, until my years of training start creeping into my psyche.  I can't sustain this pace.  If I start off too fast I am going to bonk.  I'm not adequately hydrated.  I should start off slow so I can achieve a negative split.  All of these educated running thoughts are going to overwhelm me and supersede my fight-or-flight instinct.  No doubt I'll try to rationalize this with the maniac so he can understand the need to Finish Strong! but it's a safe bet he'll stab me before I can show him my split times on the Garmin.  So in this scenario, it's not going take the stabber 9 miles to reach me.  He'll get to me before we reach the street.


Now, let's just say I make it to the street, and he has to pause for oncoming traffic.  I get a slight advantage, and from there I have time to fully prepare my race strategy.  And, there are no side streets or payphones for the next 9 miles.  In that case?  Oh yeah, I got that.  And later the local news would tell of a mysterious John Doe found on a deserted street, knife in hand, cause of death likely cardiac arrest, heat stroke, dehydration, or feelings of inadequacy.  


Is this one of the subconscious reasons why we run distance?  To have a sense of immortality, where we possess the ability to flee from danger?  What if, instead of thinking of whatever horror we are running from, we think of the fulfillment that we are running towards?  What would you run 9 miles for?  Or 13.1? Or 26.2? Or 50????

JP Morgan Corporate Challenge - race* report

Two years ago, back when I was still new to racing, I ran the 2010 JP Morgan Corporate Challenge in Boston representing my company, Putnam Investments.  I remember it being a complete log jam of people and thoroughly overwhelming, but it was fun hanging out with friends and overall I was glad I participated.  Fast forward two years, and here we go again. 
We received the email on April 17th soliciting runners for this year's event, and by the end of the day all Putnam slots were full.  This was disappointing to a lot of people that wanted to participate and had no idea how quickly the slots would fill up.  Also disappointing was the lack of coordination within our team, and no communication regarding the race.  We received our shirts the day before the race, and were left with only mediums and larges.  Jaimee scooped up the last of the mediums for us, but they looked like nightgowns on us and required some modifications.  I cut the sleeves off and tucked in the bottom of the shirt, but Jaimee took it a step further by cutting off the bottom and even making her own V-neck.  Very Flashdance. 
Jaimee offered to drive into Boston, so Kerri, Steve (one of our lunch run buddies), Chris (Steve's friend), and I all met at Jaimee's house and we drove in together.  It was just under 90 degrees driving into Boston, and unfortunately there was no sea breeze to cool us down.  We relaxed in the shade in Boston Common and waited for the rest of our team to arrive.  Finally our team captain arrived with the bibs and t-shirts for anyone who hadn't picked theirs up yet.  There were 100 runners representing team Putnam, 100 race bibs, and approximately 45 safety pins.  I managed to snag 2 pins, and many other runners didn't have any pins or only one.  Some people ended up not wearing a bib because they couldn't find any pins, and others asked other teams for spares.  Not exactly a great start to a race. 


Now hiring: Wardrobe Manager

The pre-race crowd was deceiving, as the Common was relatively empty while we relaxed at the gazebo.  As we made our way to the start line, the crowds quickly thickened and it was impossible to move.  Finally we were able to move into the starting chute, and we lined up at the 7:00 pace sign.  Although I knew this pace was a little fast for me, I also knew I didn't want to get stuck behind a few thousand other runners.  With 12,000 runners on a 3.5 mile course, start line positioning is important.  Unfortunately, everyone else seemed to feel the same way.
This was the second race in a row where I was frustrated by the lack of start line etiquette.  It took several minutes to cross the start line, and then I was swallowed up in a sea of body parts.  Passing people wasn't an option for the first five minutes of the course, as we were forced to walk with the crowd. Finally when the pace began to speed up, I found myself running an 11 minute pace, passing people that were walking.  It's impossible to describe how crowded this race was, but at one point I had the following thought, "This is what Running with the Bulls must feel like.  Right before the bull tramples you."  I tried to take advantage of every opening I could, only to get blocked by yet more walkers and slow joggers.  If I tried to pass near the middle of the street I would get blocked by groups running together.  If I tried to pass on the side of the street I would risk getting tripped by the feet of the barriers.  There were no safe options.  If anyone fell, they would surely be trampled.  The best (only) good part about this race was seeing the Citgo sign and the beautiful houses of the Back Bay.  I finished the race in a disappointing 30:54 (a full minute slower than 2 years ago) and headed to the post-race snack area.  There were generous amounts of water bottles, fruit snacks, bananas, and Larabars.  Rumor has it there were Hoodsie cups too but I didn't see those.  We met back at the gazebo and all had our own version of the same story to tell.  Although our times were slow, it was nice to see Jaimee, Kerri, and I come in 3rd, 4th and 5th respectively for team Putnam (females).  The race bibs had a QR code on them, which was really handy.  We were able to scan the code immediately to get our finish time and pace.  All races should do this!  Finally, as we all recounted the crowds, the poor planning, and the ill-fitting t-shirts, Jaimee showed us all what she thought of the Putnam shirt.

After the race we headed back to Jaimee's house and enjoyed a few post-race beers and a dip in her pool, which was a real treat!  That was definitely the best part of the race.  *Okay if we are being completely honest, watching Steve diving off the diving board was the best part of the race.

Twice now I have done this race, and the second time was worse than the first.  This will definitely be the last time I participate in this event, but the part I really liked was our lunch buddies (sans Todd) running together.  This coming weekend will be an exciting one too, as Jaimee, Kerri and I head to Portland Maine for the Old Port Half Marathon!  I was just reading the course description which highlighted a couple of key narrow areas that will cause some backup.  Eh, no problem!  Our ninja skills are freshly sharpened!

Click here to see the Corporate Challenge course

The best part of a long run: when it's over

I'm two weeks away from my first half marathon of the year, and I've been dodging the pre-requisite long training runs.  Life gets in the way, races get in the way, heat... You name it, I can turn it into an excuse to shorten my route.  But, since it's been a year since I've logged any 1+ hour runs on my feet, I knew I had to get my act together.
Kerri and I planned to run today, and when the forecast called for mid-90's and oppressive humidity, I insisted on running early.  I mentioned it on Twitter, and somehow  ended up talking Jeff into running with us.  Jeff is training for the Chicago Marathon so he was looking to run long as well.  Turns out he was several beers deep on the night, when everything sounds fun.
We picked up Kerri and headed to the RI bike path, which has become a favorite of mine on the long run.  It's a safe path with friendly people, and if you go early enough it's completely shaded.  Our run started at 6:45am so we didn't see a ton of people for the first half.  I carried my fuel belt with frozen water bottles, which was a nice treat.  The ice thawed and stayed cold for over an hour, and the ice on my back was a bonus!  A couple miles into the run Kerri broke away and ran ahead, while Jeff and I tried to stick to a 9:45-10 minute slow pace.  She makes me nervous when she does this because she doesn't carry a watch, or water, and I didn't know how far she'd end up going.  The good thing about this path is that it is out and back, so there's *virtually no way to get lost.
On Thursday I ran with Anthony and another Jeff on some trails in Upton and I managed to roll my ankle pretty badly, and then managed to do it twice more over the course of the run.  It was quite tender yesterday and I didn't have a ton of confidence that I'd be able to make today's run.  I had it wrapped and iced much of yesterday and that did seem to help.  On today's run, the ankle immediately spoke up and bothered me a lot over the first several miles but seemed to ease up after that.  I'm not sure if the ankle actually stopped hurting or if the discomfort of the heat of the day trumped the ankle pain, but either way it wasn't an issue after about mile 3.
At one point Jeff and I hit a railroad crossing, with the signals flashing! We waited for the train.  And waited.  And waited.  Turns out there was a problem with the signal and there really wasn't a train coming, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't welcome the unexpected break.

Jeff and I finally made it to the six mile mark, and Kerri was nowhere to be found.  We walked an extra quarter mile to see if we could spot her, but eventually we had to get moving again before we stiffened up too much.  We figured that she probably ran a little farther than she should but would turn around when she was ready and would probably catch up to us.  Or, maybe she missed one turn that the bike path takes.  The way back was a lot slower as we had to climb back up the hills we had run down on the way out.  The heat was getting to us, and Jeff's dehydration from last night's beers were starting to give him some leg cramps.  We decided to walk the last mile back while he dealt with his leg cramp, and really started to panic when Kerri still hadn't caught up to us.  We worried about the fact that she didn't have water, and were making plans on how we were going to find her.  When we reached the parking lot, however, there was Kerri.  Looking fresh and well rested (she mentioned she was waiting for us for quite a while).  And oh, while she was running she bumped into someone who knows someone and he ended up giving her a bottle of water.  I'm still not clear on how she beat us back, but Kerri is after all our team ninja and so I'm not really surprised.
So here it is: 12 miles done. It wasn't fun after about mile 9, and by mile 10 I wouldn't have minded being kidnapped, but we did it.  I still hate running in heat and I'm not a fan of the chafing that seems to join it, but I just might hate it a little less nowadays.  And the best part about the run was climbing into the car when we were done, and realizing it was only 9am and the hardest part of the weekend was behind us!

Race Report: Finish at the 50 10K

Tuesday marked the third consecutive year that Harvard Pilgrim has hosted a race at Gillette Stadium.  In the first two years, the race was a 10K on the morning of July 4th.  This year they made a drastic change by adding a 5K option and scheduling the race for the evening of July 3rd instead.  I had a hunch this would change the feel of the race, and that hunch was spot on.
The 10K is a weird distance that I don't have a lot of experience with.  In looking back at my race calendars, I've run a lot of 5 milers and a bunch of half marathons, but nothing in between.  The distance is short enough that you have to keep your speed up, but long enough that you have to reserve enough energy or you'll fizzle out at the end.  It requires strategy, and this is a great course to practice that strategy.  It's a very comfortable course, and doesn't get much flatter.  In fact, I felt like I was running downhill a lot. That's the good part about this race.  The bad part is that it takes place in July, and whether the race takes place at 10am or 6pm, either way it's still hot.  
This year, the race not only expanded to include a 5K option  but also added fireworks afterwards, making it an all night affair and encouraging a lot more participants.  In fact, participation more than doubled with over 7,000 entrants.  Seems that quite a few people wanted a chance to run across the field at Gillette Stadium and meet Jerod Mayo at the finish line.  And why not?  A 5K is a doable distance for runners and walkers alike and a much less intimidating distance than the 10K.  The result of this was, let's call it... "growing pains".


THE GOOD...
As mentioned, the course itself is great.  The volunteers at the water stops were efficient, and there were plenty of water stops.  I heard some folks complain that there weren't enough water stops, but I disagree.  There were stops at the 1.5 mile, 3 mile, 4 mile, and 5 mile marks.  As always, it's fun running across the field at Gillette Stadium.  And the fireworks were a blast!


THE BAD...
As mentioned, the theme of this year was growing pains.  I'm all for encouraging maximum participation but it shouldn't come at the expense of the entrant's experience. Both the 5K and the 10K races started at the same time, which caused overcrowding in the starting chute.  The chute was poorly designed, with the entry points to the chute blocked in several areas by large towers of water bottles.  Because of this, many runners were unable to enter the chutes and masses of people spilled out onto the sidewalks.  I could have lived with this, except...
Runners were self seeded, with the understanding that you line up in your pace category.  There are always going to be exceptions to this, but for the most part in most of the races I've participated in, runners do a pretty good and honest job at this.  I believe part of the problem in this race is that many of the participants were not avid racers, but instead local folks that wanted a chance to tour the stadium and used the 5K as a way to leisurely stroll the property.  And since they were just walking, heck why not start in front to get a head start!  The result was a bottleneck of runners trying to skirt around walkers and very slow joggers during the first mile.  I very much believe in running a smart race and avoiding jockeying for position at the beginning, which generally only results in wasted energy.  In this case it couldn't be helped, and it was very frustrating to me.
A similar frustration bubbled up in the final moments of the race, where the 5K and 10K routes merged shortly before entering the stadium.  It appears that someone had the foresight to realize this might become a problem, and had cones up to separate the two divisions.  Guess what runners do with cones...They run in between them!  If you really want to keep the two divisions separate, put up a solid barrier.  Here's the issue.  I'm a moderately paced 10K runner.  I'm not super fast, but I finished in the top 30% at a time of 54:45.  All of the folks finishing the 10K at this time are fairly strong runners looking for a good solid kick at the end.  Instead, we were finishing simultaneously with 5K entrants who were walking a 5K with a 54 minute finish time.  That's snail's pace.  The result: Log jam at the end in which I was barely able to jog around people up to the finish line.  Don't get me wrong, I am by no means a snobby runner.  I'm not breaking records or doing anything outstanding, but I have a strategy that really came unraveled because of the poor logistics.  My main strategy at the end of that race was "get me to a bottle of water as quickly as possible!", which leads me to my next gripe.  The water was all located outside the stadium, with signs posted everywhere that there was "NO RE-ENTRY!"  No one read those signs.  There were massive amounts of people standing, sitting, stretching, and drinking lots of water.  When I crossed that finish line I was lightheaded and nauseous, and knocked into people like a pinball trying to get off the field for water.  Literally, I would have failed a field sobriety test.  I'm not saying people shouldn't be able to hang out on the field, but if the "no re-entry" thing can't be enforced, then at least make it easier for finishers to get to the water before they pass out (which I nearly did).  


AND THE UGLY!
Finally, I would be remiss if I didn't publicly humiliate the people that took advantage of the post-race snacks, hoarding them as if they were preparing for Armageddon.  This was an issue last year as well, when people were taking entire cases of granola bars instead of taking a single granola bar out of the case.  Seems that the race officials tried to prevent this by handing out pre-stuffed bags with goodies.  But these clever doomsday'ers found a work around, by stuffing tote bags with literally dozens of these pre-filled bags.  Not only does this represent heinous greed, but we can't even say it's impulsive.  Because really, what are you doing on the field of Gillette Stadium, after a 10K race, with several large empty tote bags?  Shame on you, sloths, for robbing the people that were still out on the course, working harder than you did.  


THE BOTTOM LINE...
I'm always going to run this race, because despite everything I just said, I really enjoy it. This race is put on by DMSE (Dave McGillivray Sports Enterprises, a top notch racing outfit) and I'm confident they will continue to fine tune this young event. The bottom line is that if they are going to continue drawing big-league numbers of participants, they are going to have to treat it like a big-league race.


But anyways, back to me...
Logistics aside, I still had a great time.  I stuck to my plan and ran conservatively in the first couple of miles, and even managed to move to the side of the road to wave to my son Andrew and Ronnie's wife Donna who were cheering for us.  Well, Donna was cheering for us.  Andrew was chatting on the phone, and holding a bag of Subway sandwiches.  I must say even though I was aggravated at all the people that lined up too far ahead, the benefit of this was that I felt like a rock star the entire race.  I literally passed people constantly for 6 miles, and had very few people pass me.  That was psychologically motivating, and although I got caught in a lot of traffic where it was difficult to pass, I felt relatively strong throughout the race.  My only hiccup was at the final water stop, where I slowed to walk, drank a sip of water and poured the rest over myself.  When I went to run again, my legs were spent and I found it very difficult to get back up to speed.  In the future, it seems that maybe I'm better off carrying my own water to avoid interrupting my legs' rhythm.  Once in the stadium, I was overwhelmed with thirst, crowds, and the feeling of any-minute-now-I'm-going-to-pass-out-or-vomit-or-both.  I pinballed my way to the water, grabbed a chunk of ice and stuck it under my hat, and downed a couple bottles of water.  Whereas the first two years I savored every moment of the experience of being on the field, looking for celebrities, seeing myself on the jumbotron, on this day it was more about survival.  Once I came back to life we headed back to the car, changed into dry clothes, and set up a great spread for tailgating.

Bragging rights...
As mentioned, my finishing time was 54:45.  Although I had a time goal of low 50's, I had modified that due to the heat.  Not only is that a new PR for me at that distance, but it's also a whopping six minutes faster than last year!

Track - 6 weeks later

Six weeks ago I attended my first track workout.  As a complete beginner to track I had to learn what 200's and 400's were, and how to avoid starting out too fast and fizzling before the end of the session.  I was also given modified assignments since I was not only new to track but also not in peak running condition.
The word on the street is that regularly incorporating track sessions into your weekly routine can make you a faster runner.  Coach said to give it a month before I should start expecting any improvement.  But like everything Coach says, I have to translate that into my very specific Jill-Dog Years-Fat Ass-multiplied by 3.14 slices of pie- formula.  I waited six weeks to reflect.
So here we go - the six week results:
Week 1:
200: untimed
200: untimed
400: 1:46
400: 1:46
400: 1:43
At the end of that first workout, I was definitely depleted.  I couldn't have run another 400 in under two minutes if Channing Tatum was waiting for me at the finish line in nothing but a bow tie.
In weeks 2 through 4, we added different distances and increased the number of intervals, but I still never completed an entire workout.  Week 5, I finally completed the entire workout, did my first 1200, and managed to still match or beat my previous weeks' times.  Holy smokes!  And that brings us to...
Week 6:
200: 47
400: 98
800: 3:38
800: 3:38
800: 3:36
400: 98
200: 43
I'm pretty psyched that I managed to shave significant time off the 400's (and the 800's, which I did in 3:51 on week 2).  I'm also pleased that my times stayed consistent or improved throughout the workout, I completed the entire workout, and I didn't even vomit doing it!  For me, an exciting milestone is getting my 400 times into double digits.  Coach counts anything under 1:40 in seconds, so I slid in right under the wire.  Go legs!
About halfway through last night's workout a family with some kids on scooters and with soccer balls showed up at the track.  I figured they would get in our way but they were pleasant, and I overheard the kids say, "wow they run so fast!!"  After we were done a boy of about 7 or 8 came up to us asking if he could do a lap on the track.  The coach timed him while we all watched and waited for him to come back around.  We clapped for him, and would you believe he did it in 89 seconds!  That little squirt blew my doors off!  You could tell it totally made the kid's night to be running with the "track runners", and he asked if he could run with us again next week.  I think we have a new recruit!


So, in my uneducated opinion with nothing but 6 weeks of modest experience to back me up, if one were to ask me how to run faster, here's what I would say:  Running faster makes you faster.  I think if you run 15 miles a week at a 9:00 pace, you probably won't finish a 5k at a 7:30 pace.  You might, but it will probably hurt a lot.  Again, I'm speculating.  I think if you want to run faster you have to train your body on how to adapt to faster paces and sustain it, which can be done through these grueling intervals that just keep getting longer and longer.  Again, I'm just thinking out loud.  Or, maybe all it really takes is the heart of a 7 year old.

Tornado Alley Relay

A few months back, my friend Joanna invited me to join her in an inaugural relay race called the Tornado Alley Relay.  I was a little apprehensive about the whole thing because I had never done a relay race before, didn't know anyone else on the team, and had no idea how healed my hip would be by then.  But, she had a couple good selling points to lure me in.  1. it was for a really good cause: raising money for folks impacted by the tornadoes in western Massachusetts last year, and 2. the run segments were all very short and manageable*.  And oh heck, the relay was months away so I had plenty of time to train!
*Short and manageable until you read the elevation map
Our team was made up of friends, friends of friends, and replacement friends of friends.  Who knew how hard it could be to nail down six runners!  At the last minute we were down another runner, and Kerri was kind enough to join in the madness.  I was pretty psyched about this since now I had another friendly face in the team.  A couple weeks ago we all met up for a pre-relay fun run so we could get a chance to meet each other. That definitely helped break the ice and we got a glimpse of the size of some of the hills we would be facing on the relay.  Yikes!


The Event:
The Tornado Alley Relay was put on by Back of the Pack Productions.  It's a 57 mile relay course from Monson, MA to Charlton, covering much of the terrain that was destroyed in the tornado from one year ago.  Teams consist of six runners, with each runner doing 3 legs, a total of anywhere from 6 to 12 miles.  


The Team: "Vortex Vixens"
Team Captain: Diana "hostess with the mostest"
Jodie: Triathlete and Master Tweeter 
Joanna: Team contortionist and official "woo hoo'er"
Kerri: The Ninja
Missy: "I'm game!"
Jill: "You can fix anything with a foam roller"


Pre-Race:
Friday night Kerri and I headed out to Sturbridge to join our teammates in the pre-race pasta dinner at the Sturbridge Coffee House. We had a nice meal with Diana, Jodie, and Jodie's husband John.  Much of the conversation centered on stories of the tornado, and it was the first time I had heard anyone's first hand account of that day.  After dinner we headed back to Diana's house to spend the night.  On the agenda: arts and crafts!  Diana came up with the idea to have matching team shirts and socks, with the shirts each having one letter on the back.  When we all stand side-by-side, the shirts spell TORNADO.  Cool, right?

Kerri took control of the shirts

The finished product

As we were just finishing up the ironing (and by "we" I mean Kerri), I casually mentioned how I liked being "O2" ("2" is for my runner number).  Then we said, who's T1?  Wait a minute, I don't remember seeing a T.  Did anyone cut out a T?  And with that we realized Jodie's shirt accidentally had a big fat O ironed into it instead of a T!  And since we couldn't very well end the relay spelling OORNADO, we needed quick damage control.  We tried everything to lift the letter back off the shirt without luck, and finally at 9:30 at night, Joanna ran out to get another shirt.  She saved the day!  It made for a whole lot of laughs, and we spent the rest of the night chatting over some wine and relaxing before bed.


Race day - The weather
I woke up at 5am, after an outstanding night's sleep, to the sound of rain pelting the roof.  I hoped that it just sounded worse than it was since I was sleeping on the top floor.  But no, one look out the window confirmed what I feared: It was POURING.  This wasn't just a little mist.  This was mother nature making up big time for the drought over the last couple months, dumping out torrents of rain and soaking everything.  It stayed like this all day, except for occasionally when it rained even harder.


The wheels
Captain Diana, the hostess with the mostest, was able to secure her mother's Suburban, which offered us a roomy mode of transportation. Her amazingly patient and very Irish husband spent the entire day as our "escort", driving six soggy women around in the big rig.  His duties included reading maps, driving the course, stopping repeatedly, jumping out to offer someone water, and a whole lot of honking and turning around... and around... and around.  If I had a nickel for every time someone said, "Brian can you put it in park so I can open the hatch?"  He was a saint to us!  All of our gear was stored in the far back of the Suburban.  Luckily all of us prepared well with plenty of extra sets of clothing and gear to keep dry.  This meant three of everything, multiplied by six.  It was bag upon bag, and by the end of the day there were so many sopping wet clothes scattered about, it was like a tornado went through the truck!


The start
We piled into the Vixen Van and headed to Monson, to the start of the relay.  It was pouring so hard it was actually tough finding the race!  We signed in, listened to the safety briefing, and got good and pumped up for the relay.  One concern all of us had was finding enough toilet facilities on course, so we all took the opportunity to stop in the ladies room before heading to the start of the relay.  Well, make that 5 of the 6 of us.  We all left the ladies room and looked for Jodie, runner #1, only to find that the race already started and she was hightailing it down Main Street!  Doh!  Well so much for cheering on our runner!  We completely flubbed up the start of the relay!  We jumped into the Vixen Van and took off after her.  Finally we passed her with honking horns, windows down and lots of screaming and cheering.  She was bundled up with her raincoat on and a reflective vest, marching solidly into the pouring rain. 

Jodie, are you under there somewhere?

Transition 1  (Don't worry, I won't detail all 18 of the transitions!)
I hopped out of the van and waited for Jodie to arrive, hunkering down under an umbrella to stay dry.  (Ha!!) 

7:15am, the last time I would be wearing all dry clothes for the next 9 hours

Suddenly everything happened so fast.  I heard "runner coming!" and then someone said, "It's Jodie!".  Quickly I ditched the umbrella, straightened out my safety vest, gave a few high fives, and waited for Jodie to come barreling in.

Jodie runs so fast she blurs

Then I was off!  I knew I had a long gradual hill to start off with, but I was pumped with adrenaline and absolutely freezing, so I started off at a brisk pace.  The climb wasn't bad, and a mile into the race I settled into a nice comfortable rhythm and started to warm up.  I thought to myself, this hill really isn't so bad, and then realized I had barely even begun to climb.  Up, up, and up I went, chiseling away at the hills while my pace slowed.  I trained for this, I prepared for this, I knew this was coming, I can do this.  It became a mental game with a lot of self talk to get me up those hills.  At one point the cheering Vixen Van rolled alongside me, asking how I was feeling.  "These hills are a bitch!" I shouted.  Eventually a guy caught up to me and shouted out the dutiful "lookin' good!" sentiment, even though I'm pretty sure I looked fat and wobbly.  I told him how this hill was just sucking the life out of me.  He responded, "You're doing great!  Just a few more of these and you'll be done before you know it!".  WHAT?  More??  I really wanted to ask him some follow up questions but I, 1. couldn't keep up with him, and 2. couldn't breathe.  A female runner also passed me, griping about the hills.  Once she passed me I got my rhythm back.  One thing that's hard about a relay is there are big chunks of time, if not the entire time, where you never see another runner.  Without someone to set your sights on, it can be tough to stay focused.  I let that lady pull me right into the finish line, and I finished strong!  I was very pleased, and a little shocked, in finishing this 5 mile run in 44 minutes.

Am I reading this right? And, does anyone have a hair dryer?

I can't be sure, but I think Joanna was doing the moonwalk while waiting for me

The transitions all became a routine of whipping off clothes, sliding into fresh clothes, finding a toilet, a water, and a snack.  Once I was back in the Vixen Van, we headed off to find Joanna, who was running strong and remarkably fast.

Lucky duck had a flat to downhill 5 mile course!  (this luck wouldn't last, she discovered)

I settled into the back of the van and chomped on Chex Mix and Swedish fish, which turned out to be a great snack in between runs.  I also broke out the massage stick and did a lot of massaging during my downtime.  There were some skeptics in the group, but everyone became a believer that day.


Diana must have somehow drawn the short straw when the assignments were handed out, because she got stuck with a monster of a hill.  This hill was almost an impossible climb at a run, but sure enough when we passed her she was smiling!


Quick question, what do you get when you cross one of the Village People with Gene Simmons, while listening to Thriller?  Answer:

Diana

Diana was more than thrilled when she finished that merciless first run, and if I'm not mistaken, she may have done a little Irish Jig when she handed the wristband to Missy.

Missy in Warrior Pose as she heads out on her first run

Missy headed out into her run bundled up like nobody's business.  Personally I don't know how she could run with so much clothing on, but she likes to be warm and it worked for her.  Missy handed the wristband off to Kerri, our sixth and final runner.  It was at this point that an interesting subplot began to form.  Kerri took up a little rivalry with a man on another team.  She was a fair distance behind him but was closing the gap.  The Vixen Van rolled up beside her and we gave her the order: "Kerri, faster!  Ninja his ass!".  And with that, Kerri became the team ninja.  She nodded to us, understanding the directive, and zeroed in on her new rival.  She easily passed by him and he gave a little wave in defeat.  This would become a recurring theme for the rest of the event.

Kerri finishing strong

Kerri transitioning to Jodie to start the 2nd wave.  Jodie shed some layers.

Here, the scenery was breathtaking, stunning, and devastating.  The sheer magnitude of this storm's destruction is unimaginable.  You can't fully appreciate it until you see it up close, and you can't help but feel for these people that lost so much.  It's easy to see now why this course is so winding and hilly.  It was designed to show us the damage up close and personal.  It was heartbreaking and inspiring all at once, and I'm betting all six of us ran a little faster because of it.

This used to be a forest, across from what used to be an auto garage in Brimfield, MA

My second segment was a nice, flat 5.6 miles.  I was really looking forward to it since my quads took a beating on the hills the first time around.  When I started running, my legs gave me some serious attitude.  The "I already worked today" attitude.  As much as I wanted to run faster, my heavy, rubber legs wouldn't cooperate.  Still, I managed a good time of 48 minutes, at an 8:38 pace.  Not bad for tired legs! 

Peace out, yo!

The best part of this segment was when I heard footsteps behind me.  I knew I was being passed and I was relatively certain it was by a guy.  That was confirmed when I heard a male voice behind me say, "hey, your socks match my skirt!"  Huh?  Sure enough, a guy in a hot pink tutu ran past me, a perfect match to my hot pink Zensah calf sleeves.  Always a joy getting passed by a guy in a tutu!  Oh, and did I mention how hard it was raining?  

Absolutely, positively, soaked

Joanna's second run featured much less forgiving terrain than her first run, but she powered up those hills.  Diana also had some tough hills.  Missy didn't yet shed a layer but at least the hood came down.

Kerri once again ninja'd her rival, who once again looked defeated.  We all cheered!  I definitely started hitting the wall while waiting for my next run.  I was exhausted, and losing any interest in running again.  The one thing I wish I had packed was coffee or Coke.  I could have really used a caffeine kick, and my stomach was craving sugar.


And finally, we were on our 3rd wave.  Jodie finished her last run strong, with her husband John cheering her on.  I hopped out of the van and the cold rain helped to wake me up.  I took off, a quick 1.2 miler around the Southbridge Airport.  I ran a brisk pace and didn't give my legs time to realize how tired they were, and finished in an 8:14 pace.  Relief!  What a sense of relief knowing my run was done, and I had no more hills to climb!


Joanna finished her 3rd leg strong, but surprised at how long it felt.  The hills from earlier caught up with Diana, and no amount of Aleve, stretching or foam rolling gave her any relief from the hip pain she felt.  She came in limping after her last run.  Missy achieved rock star status on her last run, hammering through a 2 miler in under 16 minutes.  Rock star!  And then finally, Kerri headed off for the final leg of the journey.  While she was running we all changed into our Vixen gear so that we would all match at the finish line.  Kerri was just finishing a long climb, and who was in front of her but that same rival!  "Ninja!" we all shouted out the window.  And she ninja'd.  Our Vixen Van slowly rolled past the rival.  He took one look at us and exclaimed, "are you kidding me?? Shit!"  We all laughed, and within seconds Kerri was passing him.  He gave her a big high-five and she took off.


Just before the finish, all of the matching Vortex Vixens pulled in behind Kerri to run across the finish together.  And fitting with the theme of the day, the finish line was a mud puddle. This might be my favorite picture of the day.

Kerri leading the Vixen charge across the puddle/finish line

Everyone was impressed with the official uniform of the Vixens.

All I can say is, thank you Diana for not choosing white shirts

At the end of the race, all of us were freezing, soaked, and famished.  We devoured the post-race food, which included pizza, potato salad, and orzo salad.  The food was good and filling, but we were too cold to stick around and socialize.  Kerri formally introduced herself to her rival and he gave her a hug.  You've got to love the relay sportsmanship!  


And when I mentioned Captain Diana, hostess with the mostest who thought of everything... I mean, everything.  What other team had a tray of specialized mini-cakes?

Eat your heart out 

Overall this relay was a phenomenal time.  I've heard of other relays that require an entire weekend, no sleep, and multiple vans.  This was on a smaller scale and for a very meaningful cause, and I am thrilled to have been a part of it.  The race itself was well organized for such a logistical challenge, and the volunteers were awesome.  I heard rumors that this will become a regular June event, and you can be sure the Vixens will return!

Track session #1 - The debut

My running club’s official track season started last night, and for the first time since joining the club two years ago, I decided to give it a try.  But not without a fair amount of anxiety.  Track is for fast people.  For people with funny looking track shoes.  For people that know a “400” is one lap.  I certainly don’t fit the profile of a track runner and was so afraid of being humiliated that I very nearly talked myself out of going.  Here are excerpts from actual conversations that occurred yesterday:

Conversation #1:

Me: I emailed the coach letting him know I’m planning on going but I’m scared.  He responded that I won’t regret doing it once it’s OVER.  So that makes me feel fantastic.

Scott: Maybe you shouldn’t have told him that. Now you have a target on your shorts.

Me: Let’s hope that’s all I have on my shorts at the end of the workout.  Seriously, I’m starting to wonder if I ate too much at lunch.  I might s**t myself on the track.

Scott: Just assume you will puke.

Conversation #2:

Me: I am terrified of track tonight.  Seriously.  Of being slow and not knowing what to do and embarrassing myself.

Dan: Ah, fear of the unknown.  You need this. You will get more out of it than anyone else.

Me: Okay! I’ll report back tonight.  Thanks for the encouragement!

Dan: Speedwork is a sick feeling.  No one in their right mind would look forward to it.

Me: Way to scare me again. Prepare for sickness.  Swell.

Dan: Oops.

So with friends like this, it’s easy to see why I was uptight heading to track.  Despite all my fears I got dressed and started out the door.  My mother questioned why I was driving there and not running there.  (The track is seven miles away).  On the way there I realized I was wearing the wrong glasses, and that was almost all it took to turn around, but I refused to let myself chicken out now.

Eight of us showed up for track, an even split of men and women.  The coach took our names and we headed off for a light 1 mile warm up through the neighborhood.  There was something about this warm up jog that immediately settled me in.  Usually I run either alone or in small groups, but never in a group of eight.  Eight is more than a few.  Eight is a team.  Eight is enough to stop traffic while we cross roads.  It was a great way for us to shed the jitters and make good conversation now with the same people we would be suffering with later.

Back at the track we did some initial, untimed 200’s with 200 recoveries.  Our coach, Rich, preferred that we don’t use Garmin’s at all during our workouts but insisted that we remove them for the first 200’s out of respect for the previous track coach.  Larry, the previous coach, never believed in runners wearing timing equipment and had an amazing ability to keep time in his head.  So off we went for our 200’s, with the Garmin sitting on the grass.  I have no idea what my pace was on those 200’s but it was a good wake up call for my legs.  I listened to Rich’s instruction and ran conservatively starting off on the turns, then opened it up on the straight-aways.  I made it through the 200’s pretty well, although I wondered if I would be able to sustain that for the 3 400’s I had coming up.  After the 200’s I found myself shedding a layer, and despite the 50 degree raw conditions, I lined up at the start in just a t-shirt and shorts. 

In the 400’s we split up into two waves, with the fast guys heading out first.  When my wave started, I again ran conservatively going into the first turn, and then opened it up on the straight-aways.  I ran faster than I realized I could, and it was great having faster runners ahead of me pulling me along.  I also realized why Rich wants us to ditch the Garmin’s.  For one thing, I kept pressing the wrong button in my haste.  For another thing, I couldn’t possibly read the Garmin while I was running that fast so I had no idea how fast I was going anyways.  When I crossed the 400 mark and Rich shouted out “1:46”, I was shocked.  I ran the slowest 400 recovery I could possibly run without walking to give myself time to catch my breath, and I admitted to Rich that I overdid the first lap.  I wouldn’t be able to sustain that.  He cautioned about this at the beginning, of making sure we didn’t use up all our gas in the first one or two laps so we’d have enough to finish the workout.  Rookie mistake.  The second 400 started and I took the same approach, and strangely didn’t feel any worse than the first 400.  Rich was at the finish line cheering me on with words of encouragement and again shouted, “1:46!”  I gave out a holler and slowed back down.  I was ecstatic that I maintained the same exact pace through two intervals, and again ran as slowly as possible back around to the start.  On the third and final interval I gave whatever I had left, and Rich seemed genuinely pleased when I crossed in 1:43.  I ran two cool down laps after that (maybe I should call them “victory laps”) and was surprised at how easy the effort seemed.  Running that fast makes running slow seem so much easier!  We all regrouped at the end and went for a cool down 1 mile jog back through the neighborhood, and it was a great way to end the session.

Last night’s introduction to track work made me aware of a few things

1. I have nothing to be afraid of
2. I have no one to compete against except myself
3. It hurts, but the sense of accomplishment is unlike anything else
4. The suffering among friends makes it almost enjoyable
5. I will be there every single week

When I got home from track, I texted a few people to let them know I survived, and then I sent a boastful tweet out in Twitter about my track debut and my amazement at running a sub-7 pace.  The icing on the cake?  Bart Yasso responded, congratulating me!  THE Bart Yasso!  Now THAT made it all worth it.