Today I ran on my lunch break at work. This started about a year ago and I won’t lie, I hated doing it. Not because I hated running, but because of the looks and snickers I got from all the non-runners. The smokers exhaling as I strolled past, the people walking back from the café with their French fries saying, “Hey good for you! I should be doing that”. Um hell yeah you should, have you even seen your ass lately?” Running at lunch got easier when I obtained exclusive back-door access so that I can go straight from the locker room to the great outdoors without having to march through the building in my tiny shorts and next-to-nothing tank tops. Running also got easier as my conditioning improved, and a nice easy 3-4 mile run was a great way to break up the day with minimal effort and – most importantly when at work- minimal sweat. This changed the day I met Todd. Todd is athletic, high strung, and has no trouble carrying on lengthy conversations while maintaining a 6:30 pace. I liked him for about 45 seconds. My first run with Todd, I came back so overheated (in December, BTW) that even after I showered, I continued sweating for the entire afternoon. Todd officially ruined my lunch breaks. To his credit, I will mention that shortly after starting to run with Todd, I clocked a new PR in a 5k race.
Today, I ran with Kerri and Todd. Kerri is a marathon runner so basically this means I spent the entire 4.6 miles struggling to keep them within sight. I know there were things going through my head but honestly I can’t remember most of it, because I think that’s what happens when you are being traumatized and begin experiencing PTSD. Here are some excerpts of today’s thoughts, in no particular order:
Maybe Todd will slow down since Kerri is with us. Nope, guess not. Hey, why is Kerri running so fast? She never runs this fast with me. Great, now they are ganging up on me. I’m the fat slow one in the back.
I think Todd just does this for attention. He wears those silly Vibram toe-shoes and sprints back and forth between Kerri and I. As soon as I catch him he takes off again. He’s like freaking Seabiscuit.
I hate Todd right now. He has nice legs though. He could be a leg model. I guess if I could run a 17 minute 5k, maybe I could be a leg model too. 24 minute 5k runners aren’t leg models.
Really wishing I didn’t eat those crackers with jalapeno cheese right before this run. I think I might vomit. Good thing I have extra underwear in case I crap myself. If I vomit, I wonder how long it will take to freeze in this weather.